You’re probably asking, what the heck does a Big Green monster have to do with photography? Everything!
I’m talking about envy and jealousy. To start lets look at the definition of these two words. Most dictionaries show them both meaning the same thing, but really they are different.
DEFINITION:
envy
Wanting what someone else has and resenting them for having it is envy.
DEFINITION:
jealousy
Jealousy is that unpleasant emotion you feel when you think someone’s trying to take what’s yours.
Jealousy might creep up on you if someone flirts with your sweetie or copies your unique style.
Envy… How to deal with it.
I remember growing up and all the little girls had beautiful floral dresses, long silky hair and beautiful hair accessories. I had short Curly-Sue hair and wore boys clothes. Yep. I wore boys clothes, down to my red corduroy pants and Hot-Wheels velcro sneakers. Why? (yes, Goodwills back then sold girls clothes) I asked to wear these things! It was my way of dealing with the envy. Instead of constantly wanting what they had, even from a young age, I would rebel against it. I would do the opposite of what they did because I decided if it was “popular” then I would be different so I wouldn’t have to deal with the feelings that came from envy.
Stop looking at the other guy’s junk!
The same goes for photography. When you find yourself coveting your neighbors camera, lenses or even business try looking inside and ask yourself, “would that really make me happy?” Instead of drooling over their camera or equipment, LEARN to use your own even better! Shock the world with your epi-mazing images taken on a Canon Rebel and a nifty fifty ($125 50 mm). Not only will you gain more confidence, you’ll feel better about yourself. You will grow as an artist. While others might just go buy a new camera year after year without ever truly understanding how they work, you’ll be learning how to do amazing things with half the effort. Are you GREEN over their business? Don’t be. Not every business model works for everyone. Instead, get out there and figure out what works for YOU! Want to know the most effective way to rid yourself of this feeling? Stop LOOKING! Yes, if someone in particular is causing you to feel this way and re-directing your thoughts isn’t working, stop following them for a while. I don’t mean in a stalkerish way (but if you are stalking someone I suggest reading another article lol). Most of us follow our favorite photographers online via Facebook or their blogs. Just turn it off for a while. I still do the same thing today. I rebel. If I am feeling a bit envious of someone, I will either further my own unique identity and try to find something completely opposite to focus on, or I’ll just remove them from my feed until I get over it.
Jealousy…..the BIG kahuna.
I think we have ALL felt this. We get upset because we feel someone copied us or stole our ideas…even clients. I hear it A LOT. That angry feeling in the pit of our stomachs is called JEALOUSY. Ever posted an amazing session idea only to have someone more popular “borrow” it and take all the credit? Say you started using a particular editing technique and now your competition is using it too. That is the infamous jealousy talking. I remember in HS when I decided I REALLY wanted to stick out like a sore thumb and start wearing 2X jeans with my 1970′s goodwill polo shirts and used Doc Martin’s. Remember ——> I was beyond poor. My BEST friend was better off. She had wild RED curly hair (to die for!) and the BEST clothes. That was until she started copying my crazy look. I was so upset. Not only did it take everything in me to get over the envy, now I had my best friend stealing my “unique” look and yes, getting all the credit for it. I really didn’t have many friends, she was extroverted, I was introverted. So in true introvert fashion, I just sulked in the corner and kept my mouth shut. But you know what I learned? You take that Jealousy (or envy), and turn it into MOTIVATION! (Yes, this resulted in some seriously crazy hair styles, even bigger jeans and crazier shirts!)
Motivation..Your NEW BEST friend!
Ever heard the phrase: “turn that frown upside down?” Turn your jealousy (and envy) into motivation. My real grown-up world example might be that super svelte mother of 3 that jogs down my street in her super cute mini shorts and her amazing model legs. Instead of being envious of her and hating her, I use that as motivation to get my a$$ to the gym! Someone is an AMAZING photographer and you feel like they are stealing your thunder? Don’t be jealous….DO BETTER! WORK HARDER! Are your clients are running away? Look at what the other guy is doing right and find out where you are going wrong (This is one time I do suggest looking, lol). Get a book on business or Google it! Google is your classroom. STOP letting it get you down. Turn your frustration into motivation. Get angry, but focus that anger. Nothing makes a person work harder than motivation based upon an actual emotional feeling. If your ever feeling sorry for yourself (in photography) look and see if its a result of envy or jealousy. I believe a lot of the time, that is the problem. Remember this quote from GI Jane (ok… it’s D. H. Lawrence, but man her epic abs and super hottie Viggo ….need I say more? Ok …ok there is the OTHER epic line, but we won’t mention that here…no go ahead…say it in your head because Hot Damn is it motivating!!!!) Back to the poetry..
“I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.”
~ D. H Lawrence
Now get out there and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing. Do your own thing, you’ll thank yourself for it in the end. ![:D]()
(Image credit: RobTariArt – Deviantart)